Planning Parenthood Advice
by Helen Smith
Are you part of the LGBT community and are
considering parenthood? If so, you are not alone. LGBT parenting increased in
the 1980s, and by the nineties this phenomena was nicknamed the
Gayby Boom.
Here is some advice on the beginning stages of parenthood.
Singles vs. Couples
Whether you are single or coupled, you may want
figure our how to balance your personal needs and parenting time. Some lesbians
have a support network that is willing to baby-sit so the mother(s) can have
time alone or with friends. Sometimes single women find it more difficult to
raise a child because parental responsibilities are not divided.
Support Networks
Many lesbians, as well as heterosexuals,
find that it is beneficial to have strong support networks as parents. The
support can come from friends or family members. Some lesbians feel it is
helpful to join LGBT parenting groups and organizations because they feel having
other LGBT parents as friends is helpful. Your friends who do not have children
should understand you will probably not be able to do everything you did before
the baby was born. This may sound obvious, but some friends may feel like you
are rejecting them and expect you to do the same things you did before you
became a parent.
Relationships
Consider how a baby will impact the
relationship with your partner, or if you are single, how it could affect your
dating. Some lesbians find that their sexual intimacy decreases once a baby
arrives. You may want to talk about this possibility before the baby arrives if
you think it would cause any problems.
Family Types
Lesbians are expanding the meaning of family.
Lesbians have created more family structures than the two-lesbians and a baby,
or the single lesbian with children models. For example, often two couples join
together to have a child, like two lesbian couples. Therefore the “family” would
consist of four parental figures. In addition, a single mother could pair with a
gay man to have a child. Both could share parental rights, and have equal time
with the child(ren). There are other types of family structures, if you can
think of a possibility, it probably exists.
Time
For example, you may want to create a
way you can spend time with your acquaintances and family with and/or without
your child. In addition, you may want to determine how your work schedule and
daycare work together.
Health Insurance
If you have insurance you should review
your plan. Also learn what is covered and the policy costs to have your child
added to your or your partners’ insurance.
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