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Alternative Insemination
by Helen Smith
Getting Pregnant through Alternative
Insemination
Alternative insemination (AI)
(also known as donor insemination, artificial insemination, and
artificial fertilization) refers to a process where donated
semen is inserted into a woman’s vagina or uterus for the
purposes of conception. People have stopped using the term
"artificial" insemination because it reflects a negative
meaning, one that sees AI as being unnatural.
The use of alternative insemination
has added an option for lesbians to become parents. Other ways
lesbians become parents are through adoption, foster care, a
heterosexual union, or raising family members. Today, many
lesbians find AI to be a quicker and cheaper way to become
parents than through adoption or foster care. They also tend to
have less legal hassles when they go through AI. In addition,
many lesbians want to experience carrying a child to term and
giving birth. If you or your partner are thinking about AI you
may want to take a few moments to review our advice below:
Alternative Insemination Advice:
1. Fertility Clinics - (List
of Fertility Clinics)
Do
research on fertility clinics before you choose one. Some clinics
and/or doctors refuse to assist lesbians or single women with
alternative inseminations. There are recognized clinics however,
which support alternative insemination for lesbians and single
women. If you are in an area where there is no clinic that will
help, you can order sperm via clinics in other areas that will be
shipped to you.
2. Fertility - It is recommended that if you want to give birth
to children yourself, you should do it while you are young if
possible. Most doctors agree that after 35 it is harder for
women to get pregnant (conceive) and may require the use of
fertility drugs to get pregnant. Also, after a woman is 35
years old, miscarriages are more frequent, as are birth defects.
It is very important to be on folic acid, 0.8mg to 1.0 mg per
day or a prenatal vitamin for three months prior to conception,
to decrease the risk of birth defects. A multivitamin is also
OK, but be sure to check the amount of folic acid. A research
study done at the Fenway Center in Boston showed that the method
of intra-uterine insemination (placing washed sperm directly
into the uterus with a small catheter by a health care worker)
was more effective for lesbians in achieving a pregnancy, than
placing the sperm into the cervix. If you do plan to do home
inseminations, you might consider changing to intrauterine
inseminations if you are not pregnant after the first three
cycles of home insemination.
3. Type of Donor – Choosing a donor can be a difficult process.
There are two types of donors: known and unknown. Known donors
agree to have their identity released to the children born from
their semen after the children reach a specific age. Most often the
age is 18 years old. Known donors can also be someone the AI
recipient knows. For example, it could be the brother of her
partner. If you choose a donor that you know and become pregnant
outside of a clinic, be aware that you may face legal complications
regarding custody. If you choose to impregnate without using a
clinic, the man has legal rights to the child. If you do it through
a clinic, in most cases he gives up all parental rights through the
law. However, this varies from state to state, so seek legal advice
from an attorney knowledgeable in alternative families prior to
getting pregnant. Unknown donors do not agree to have their
identification released to the AI recipients or the children born
from their semen.
4. Finances – Be aware that
the expenses of AI can add up. Most women do not become pregnant
after the first or second AI attempt. Depending upon the women,
it can take a number of months or a year. In addition, if
attempts fail you may add the cost of fertility drugs to the
bill. In addition to this, think about your financial security.
Create a budget that you feel will fit the needs of you, your
partner (if you have one), and your child.
5. Stress - You may find the
insemination process stressful. It often takes several tries before
a woman becomes pregnant. Each month you must monitor your
ovulation, which may change due to stress about conceiving.
Sometimes women become worried about their capability to become
pregnant, and stress about that. These pressures may cause women to
become irritable and may impact your relationships.
6. Health Insurance – If you have insurance you should review your
plan. Learn if it covers AI, fertility drugs, and hospital visits.
Also learn what is covered and the policy costs to have your child
added to your or your partners’ insurance.
7. Time - You may wish to create a time management plan. You may
have to go the clinic for multiple AI visits, or you may have to
arrange for the sperm to be shipped to you on certain dates.
8. Family reactions - Some families are supportive, others are not.
For instance, some families who may have rejected their relative’s
lesbian identity will put tensions aside for the sake of the baby.
Other families will reject both the mother(s) and the child(ren). If
you find your family reacting negatively to your situation you may
want to refer them to an organization called
PFLAG (Parents, Friends
and Families of Lesbians and Gays).
9. Non-biological Parent
- In reference to lesbians who became parents via alternative
insemination, a non-biological parent is often the
partner of the birth-mother. The non-biological parent will not
have legal rights to the child unless she goes through
second-parent adoption or a
step-parent adoption which is only legal in some states.
Some people may not consider her a “real parent” because she has
no blood-connection to the child. Because of these reasons she
may not feel as connected to the child, or may feel like an
outsider within the family. To help the non-biological mother
(the co-parent) feel better, it is essential that the birth
mother recognize these factors and give her support. It is not
uncommon for the non-biological mother to feel left out when the
biological mother is breast-feeding. There are some reports of
non-biological mothers being able to induce breast-milk, and
also participate in breast-feeding the baby. However, most
lesbian couples do not choose this option, due to the hormone
supplementation required as well as the time it takes to use the
electric breast pump to get the milk started in the
non-biological mother. Some lesbian couples choose
“co-maternity” in which the egg from one woman is mixed with the
donor sperm, and the embryo is then placed in the uterus of the
other woman. In this way, both women share in the pregnancy: one
woman carries it, and the other woman has contributed the
genetic material. However, this option is fairly costly.
10. STDS – Fertility clinics
check donors for specific diseases and STDs. What is tested for
may vary from clinic to clinic. You can find out what testing is
done by researching or asking the clinic of our choice. Note
that different countries vary in their requirements.
11. HIV/AIDS – Donors are
tested for HIV/AIDS; however, if you use fresh sperm instead of
frozen sperm, you increase your chances of contracting the
virus. Some people choose fresh sperm because they tend to get
pregnant faster.
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